How To Write A Song

by Harry Nilsson

So

If you write it on guitar place your guitar upon your knee

If you write it on piano don't do that

Place your fingers on the strings of your guitar not your piano

If you write it on piano don't do that

Now strum or press to get a feeling

This might take a little time

Now think of something sad or something funny

Which inevitably brings us to the rhyme

Now Let's assume you are just an asshole

And there's nothing in your brain

It might help if you remember

These helpful little hints

Don't try to rhyme silver with anything yeah

That goes for orange as well

Now notice how cleverly

I just used them both

And all I have to do is rhyme well

You've got to be very tricky

Cause to avoid these words takes talent

So never ever trap yourself like that

Or you'll end up saying words like ballant phallant. Dallant

Allant. Hallant

0 oh well

I am sure you'll catch on fast

Now some tips on tempo and some subjects to avoid

Like the use of the word baby

Unless you really have to say it

As to tempo or as 'ale say jime

That 's strictly up to you because

That depends on how you play it

Now lets do qne

Now think of a rhyme

That is it you're doing fine

Now jhink of the good time we just had together

If you pracjic[ these insjructions on jhe boat of song you'll

Sail

And f you listen very carefully i'm sure you shallant fail

I said shal [ant. Yeah

S hallan~

Ihaj rhymes with jalent. That takes talent'

That is talent! Oh oh my god i1ve dqne it again

Shallant rhymes wijh talent that takes talent =

That is talent, oh i can't sjand oh my god

I ve done it again